It is well known in the Masshole house, that Mandi and spiders do not get along. Like one should not even put them in the same sentence, let alone the same room! Now that I no longer have my
I was driving down a semi busy street, right past a well known speed trap, when all of a sudden the biggestnastiestmotherfucking spider started to crawl eye level on my windshield. Praying it was on the outside, I flicked my wipers on. Panic instantly hit me when I realized it was on the INSIDE! I have conveniently just cleared out my SUV so I had not a thing to attempt to kill it will. So instead of swerving like a maniac and panicking behind the wheel, I hauled ass into the parking lot of a local sports store, and immediately jumped out of my vehicle. I was freaking out like there was no tomorrow.
All of a sudden this large man dressed in black approached me and in a deep monotone voice said "Ma'am are you okay?".
Quickly realizing that he was a police officer, and I better get my shit straight before I end up in the local looney bin, I managed to breathe out "There's a giant... spider.... in... my .... car....".
Sensing that I am completely scared shitless of spiders he says, again in his deep monotone voice "Would you like me to get that for you Ma'am?"
I screamed out "YES!" before he can even finish his sentence.
He then reaches into my car and sees the poor unsuspecting spider getting closer to the driver side edge of the windshield, pulls out a hanky and squishes the little fucker.
"Would that be all Ma'am?" He says, voice not wavering once.
"Yes, thank you so much." I manage to squeak out calmly.
I get back into my SUV and drive away. My two little people had slept silently the whole time in the back seat, never wiser.
I was (still am!) mortified to say the least. And I know for a fact I was/will be the laughing stock of the B----------- Police Dept for quite some time.
Final score- Mandi-3 Cop-1 Spiders- still ZERO!